How to Apologize Appropriately

Sometimes an apology comes across as nothing but an excuse for one's behavior and sometimes the apology is heart-felt. If an excuse is added with the apology, wouldn't that cancel out the apology all together?

There are only a few words in this quote, but a much deeper meaning... "Never ruin an apology with an excuse." - Kimberly Johnson.

It takes courage and character to apologize, but when you do, it should come from the right place. Part of apologizing is taking accountability for what you have done that hurt or angered another person. Acknowledge what you have done. You may not be totally to blame in the situation, but take responsibility for your part.

It's ok and even important, in some cases, to explain what you did that warrants an apology, but it shouldn't come across as an excuse. An explanation of truth is different than an excuse that isn't in alignment with you saying you want to apologize.

An authentic apology means you are genuinely sorry for causing another pain, whether intentional or unintentional. You should give the person you are apologizing to, the chance to express their feelings, as you listen attentively and try to understand. You may not even see things in the same way, but this is about making amends and correcting a situation and letting each other know you care enough to make things right.

Timing can make the difference. Sometimes you need to wait until the situation has cooled down to make an apology. If the situation is heated up and harsh words are being slung back and forth, an apology will unlikely be heard.

Be true to your word. When you apologize make a commitment to your word and follow through. A genuine apology isn't just momentary words, but a commitment to resolve not to do the same thing again.

Some apologies will never be accepted, but that's something the other person has to deal with. You cannot control what someone else will accept, but you can control taking accountability for your own actions.