How to Get Over Your Ex

In dreams, you still hear their voice and trace the contour of their smile. With morning's wake, you realize they are gone. The pain is deeply embedded to the point you wonder if you'll ever see the light at the end of the tunnel. The hole in your heart "can" and "will" mend.

Losing someone you care for is never easy, no matter your age. You may feel no one can ever replace them, but this is your emotions talking. Logically, this is not true. Time helps fade the pain, but it's what you do in this time that makes a difference. Everyone heals at their own pace. Don't feel like a failure because you are healing slowly, but it's necessary to accept that the relationship is over. You need to take steps to help yourself.

ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FEELINGS

Your feelings are real. Allow yourself time to cry, to grieve, but don't get stuck in this mode until it consumes you. When you find yourself crying for long periods, say STOP and distract yourself with something positive. Go for a walk. Walk your dog. Do whatever it takes to give yourself a breather. Some people heal slower than others. This does not mean you are a loser.

Talk to a trusted friend. Don't bottle up your feelings or it will intensify the pain and can be damaging to your emotional and physical health. Tell your friend you are hurting and need to vent, but don't take advantage by taking up their every moment. Write poetry or keep a journal to express every last drop of what you feel. Looking back, you'll see how far you've come. Write letters, saying what you never got to say to your ex and then burn them as a closing ritual.

DON'T ISOLATE YOURSELF

Keep in contact with friends or renew friendships you may have put on the back burner, while in the relationship. Even though you may not feel like it, do something fun or involve yourself in more activities than usual. Try something new that you've always wanted to do. Have a slumber party with your friends, be silly and dance the night away! Put your energy into something positive and productive. Don't let your work or academics suffer. Reach out to others, which takes the focus off of yourself. Volunteer work is a wonderful way to be part of the world again.

EMBRACE

This is the time to be more aware of all of your wonderful qualities. Think of all the accomplishments you've made, the people who love you, the person you are and all you have to offer. You were valuable before you entered this last relationship and you still hold the same value. Embrace this and know you will find someone very special that will appreciate your worth. Don't allow this break-up to steal your value or self-esteem.

TAKE CARE AND PAMPER

It's vital to take care of yourself while you are healing. You may not have much of an appetite, but try your best to eat healthy food and get adequate exercise. Without proper nutrition, you will feel drained even more. Pamper yourself with your favorite indulgences. If you feel unusually depressed or can't get out of this rut, talk to your parents or guidance counselor and don't be afraid to seek professional help.

DON'T

Don't get involved in a new relationship until you have healed. It isn't a quick fix and often leads to failure. You don't need to prove yourself or be with someone to be somebody. Someone out there is waiting for you, but it's necessary to clear the past in order to move into the future.

Life is a journey. Sometimes it's filled with pain and sometimes your cup is overflowing with joy. Set the past free and you set yourself free. Envision a beautiful new beginning!

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